If You’re Doing Shadow Work, Here’s A Word Of Advice

One thing about me is I’m not an “all love and light” kind of human.

 

I’m also not a “call you out at every obstacle” human.

 

From what I’ve heard, this combination makes me a well-suited coach for other sensitives.

 

But it’s also something people have consistently misjudged about me before (on both fronts).

 

Having been asked, “How can you stay so positive?” and told, “You must not care about much, huh?”

 

(Confusing my discernment for apathy or forced positivity – a love letter for another day😉).

 

The truth is, you simply don’t get to bask in the “light” – at least in the capacity I do – unless you’ve spent much more time with your shadow.

 

There’s this saying…

 

“Every healer must become a shadow worker before they become a light worker.”

 

For you to enjoy the enriching aspects of your sensitivity, you must spend time with what’s been rejected. With what hasn’t been allowed to exist within you before.

 

Shadow work is holding your Shadow’s hand as they introduce you to every child in your home (a.k.a. you).

 

The shadows of 11 year old You, 10 year old You, 9 year old You, etc.

 

Befriending these parts of yourself is how you shake the fear of the not-so-fun stuff that comes with being an HSP, like…

 

• Being misunderstood by others.
• Not being able to tolerate overwhelming situations, people, or places for long.
• Feeling disappointed or let down by the ones you love.

 

Shadow integration is much warmer and peaceful than running around in the sun with a blindfold on.

 

Those who bash the notion of consistent shadow work because you “don’t have to work on yourself all the time” do not have a complete understanding of what shadow work is.

 

Shadow work is not self-punishment preserved for the masochistic – it’s shadow integration.

 

If the integration part doesn’t happen, you didn’t do shadow work. What you probably did was drown yourself in your past sorrows. That’s self-harm, and it’s easier to do because we can convince ourselves that it’s what we deserve. That’s NOT shadow work.

 

As heavy as shadow work can be – the undoing, the humbling, the discomfort, the shame, the guilt, sometimes outright pain of meeting your shadows can be – it can be equally as light and satisfying and fun and liberating.

 

It is liberating to healthily detach from people, places, situations, behaviors that have nothing to do with you.

 

Shadow integration looks like understanding that if you are expecting perfection from your loved ones, it must be what you expect from yourself and let’s start there.

 

Because if you are looking for things in other people, the universe will ask you to clean up house. It’ll ask you to match energy. Shadow work is the process of doing so.

 

Whatever it is you want, whatever it is you are seeking, you must find it within you first so that when you’re met with it n real life, you can recognize it and love it.

 

When people show you their amazing parts, you can see yourself and you love it.

 

When people show you their terrible parts, you can see yourself and it’s easy to say goodbye to what isn’t working…

 

Because you’ve already forgiven and made peace with those parts of yourself.

 

That’s shadow work.

 

It makes life easier.

 

It makes facing change easier.

 

It makes relationships easier.

 

 

In A Nutshell

 

Shadow work isn’t shadow work without the integration. It may not be super fun to begin with, but it’s the most liberating thing you can do for yourself. Click here to watch the live I did on how to integrate your shadows for true embodiment.

 

And if you’re ready to start your integration process, you can start by enrolling in the Roadmap To Self-Grounding Program here!

 

Leave a comment letting me know how YOU approach your shadow work practice as a highly sensitive person. What does or doesn’t work for you? What questions do you have about shadow work? I’ll do my best to respond!