How To Stop Self Sabotaging When Life Is Going Well

So, you want to learn how to stop self-sabotaging.

 

If only it were that easy.

 

If you think like this, it might have taken you a while to get here. To this question. To the realization that you’re self-sabotaging in the first place.

 

Or, maybe you don’t know yet, but you have a feeling. You want to confirm if you’re lost in your illusions or onto something. Am I the roadblock I’m currently facing? Am I ruining my own success/happiness?

 

Most often than not, it’s hard to admit we’re the problem. So I’m going to invite you to practice these habits that are bound to keep your conscious clear as you live your life the best way you can.

 

Let’s talk about how to stop self-sabotaging when life is going well.

 

Dismantle Your Beliefs Around Success

The root of our self-sabotaging habits stems from our beliefs around success, and we may not even be aware of it!

 

Oftentimes, we’re given a version of success at school, within our homes, throughout our childhood, and even in the workplace. We tend to adopt these perceived ideas without even realizing it, despite probably being actively against them.

 

It’s hard to feel at peace with where we are when we believe that “success” looks like having a stable job, working from sunrise to sunset, feeling happiness consistently, and whatever else your upbringing instilled in you.

 

Maybe that’s taking care of your family, having a family of your own, moving away/staying close to home, etc.

 

It’s one thing to tell others what success is to you. It’s another thing entirely to live in that truth when you’re all of sudden reaping the rewards of following through with this foreign view of the status quo.

 

So think about what success means to your family, your mentors, your friends, your partner, and whoever else is closest to you. What do you agree with? What don’t you agree with?

 

Now, let’s define your version of success and what it can look like.

 

Define Your Version Of Success

Be gentle with yourself.

 

Sometimes, we don’t give ourselves enough credit for how much we know ourselves. Especially now, when – with exposure to different lifestyles 24/7 via the internet – what is possible now looks different than what was possible for the generations before us.

 

Do you want to pursue your education at the age of 65? Please do!

 

Thinking about starting your own business from the comfort of your home? You can.

 

Want to build a tiny home and have the freedom to travel? It’s a cost-effective way of life!

 

Do I need to go on about the many people who are doing great things without a college degree, inherited assets, being neurodivergent, etc., etc.?

 

My point is, it’s too important to get a grasp on what success looks like for you in a world where clearly everyone has their own version. No way is wrong. It’s okay for you to have yours.

 

Success doesn’t have to look like doing things that make you unhappy more than doing things that fuel you.

 

Those who are putting pressure on you are NOT going to show up and do the work for you, so why live with their best interests in mind and not your own?

 

The best way to get to your complete version of success (that is subject to change at ANY time) is by doing shadow work.

 

Shadow Work: Ask Yourself Why + Get Comfortable

Think about this: Have you ever heard the people around you talk badly about the wealthy? Maybe you hear that the rich are greedy, or detached from the “real world,” or are undeserving of their wealth.

 

Or, perhaps, you hear that they can’t be good people, that’s it’s impossible for them to be kind and considerate of others because they don’t understand the struggles of others.

 

How about those who have freedom with their time? Who seem to always travel and experience new things often compared to you.

 

Do you believe you have to work long hours consistently to acquire any of it? Do you believe there’s one cookie-cutter way to obtain this for yourself?

 

Maintaining limiting beliefs like these are going to cause you to sabotage your own success without you realizing it.

 

If you think people with more resources than you (like money or time) aren’t morally good or too different from you, it exposes where your comfort zone lies.

 

So ask yourself this: “What are my views on those who have the things that I want?”

 

Now, step into their shoes. Put yourself in their wealth, in their access to resources, in their world of issues that look nothing like yours.

 

Are you, by default, an “evil, rich person” who has no idea about the struggles of the less fortunate? Who has worked harder than any person to “earn” your success?

 

Ask yourself why you believe you need to be unsatisfied for a long time before you can be “successful.” 

 

Ask yourself why you think being “successful” shouldn’t feel good, be interesting, or fun for you.

 

It’s time to stop self-sabotaging, and it starts with your mind.

 

Create Reliable Systems – NOT Goals

Too often, when we start to receive the rewards of our work ethic, whether that’s showing up in the physical world or the mental/emotional world, we can get stuck. If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Now what?”, than you know what I’m talking about.

 

When we’re taken aback by the “success” we’ve been working for all this time coming to fruition, it’s not uncommon to start falling off.

 

(NOT because we don’t know what to do next, but because we’re secretly uncomfortable with where we are!)

 

Self-sabotaging habits like imposter syndrome can result in you pulling back on your journey out of fear. Our minds will tell us it’s because we’re “unsure of what to do!” “We need to go back to the drawing board!”

 

When really…it just wants to disrupt your progress so you go back to where you started. Because where you started was comfortable. Where you started was safe, way safer than proceeding.

 

And it happens to the best of us. These self-sabotaging thoughts are just our brains wanting to take care of us.

 

You need to be gentle with yourself when you begin to stop your self sabotaging habits. This is why creating reliable systems is key!

 

You want to come up with step-by-step routines that set you up for optimal productivity, relaxation, or mental health! A system for any of these things, (even better if it’s a system that incorporates ALL of these), is going to set you up for success no matter what.

 

What’s important to you, more than anything, should be you. Because whatever your version of success is, you can’t show up for it and others if you’re not okay.

 

I know struggling with mental illness means you’ve heard this a thousand times. I just want you to know, your emotions vary all the time – it’s what it means to be human – so we can’t always rely on them to achieve the goals we set.

 

Creating a system, which means working on creating habits that require no thought, will be the backbone of your success.

 

I know it sounds boring, having a “system,” but when you base your definition of success around your satisfaction with life, it’s not boring. It’s healing.

 

This is all about how to stop self-sabotaging when life is going well.

 

Be patient with yourself as you get comfortable in your new “normal,” because despite what you’ve been told, you are worthy of success. You deserve to be successful on your own terms – and you can do so by clicking HERE.

 

Until next time.