Healthy detachment can do wonders in helping you get grounded as you live your amplified, highly sensitive life.
BUT… that probably sounds unlikely to you (because how can being detached make one more sensitive? And would you even want that?).
I get it. Allow me to paint you a picture of the wonders of healthy detachment.
This is a life-changer for so many women I’ve worked with.
Feeling Flustered? The Answer Is To Stand On Business
The only real way to mess up your relationship with yourself is by ignoring your needs. Go figure.
And for some reason, when you don’t ignore your needs – when you actively choose to put yourself first – it can feel like you’re effing up. Like you’re letting everyone down.
“Why am I like this?” you’ve probably thought before.
The feeling of doing something wrong feels inevitable when you’re unable to keep up the pretenses of being available to everyone all the time.
That’s a common experience many HSPs face when they start building their relationship with their sensitivity – the impending doom when you first decide to say “no.”
Because how can you can not overextend yourself for others? You’ve done it before/have been conditioned to do it all your life!
Because you’re good at it – better at it than others, thanks to your sensitivity.
That’s the danger of being highly sensitive – your amazing ability to sense the subtleties of the world make you a keen eye and adaptable presence in your environment.
But just because you can shape shift for everyone else, doesn’t mean you should.
Honoring your sensitivity will feel like you’re failing – but that is not reality. You’re simply exercising a muscle you haven’t trained in a while: it’s called boundary-setting, a.k.a. standing on business.
You’re Not Afraid, Just Overstimulated
I’ll share with you something I remind my clients of all the time: your overstimulation is not fear.
Yes, fear can be overstimulating. But, you’re probably not afraid of the fireworks or the bass in the speakers.
You’ve got to be mindful of how your relate to your sensitivity. It’s a trend for HSPs to equate overstimulation to fear. I did this for many years without realizing it, and it only led me to intensified energy leaks and, eventually, panic attacks.
Think about how overstimulation feels like in your body. Your breath shortens, your heat beat spikes, and basic sensory information (i.e. lights, sounds, smells, touch) can be too much for you to take.
That sounds a lot like the physical experience of fear. It can be confusing, and that’s when you become susceptible to fear. The momentum builds, and the lack of clarity/safety/comfort can make you spiral.
In this episode of The CalmWithDom Podcast, I break down how you can slow the momentum of your emotions to self-regulate btw. Trust me, you’ll want to take notes listening to this one – it’s all actionable steps.
Truthfully, there’s no need to panic when you understand what overstimulation feels like for you, as well as how to approach yourself while in that state.
So, next time you’re feeling worked up or shaky, remind yourself that you are not afraid in this moment, because you are not in danger! There’s just sensory overload, and the need to exit a situation and self-soothe.
Surprise! This Is Healthy Detachment Too😉
Healthy detachment in the micro is so essential for approaching yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding during your overstimulation. During your potential overwhelm.
(though, within my 1:1 containers and academy lessons, I coach you on steering away from overwhelm during this *very* normal experience).
To detach is not to disconnect. It’s taking a step back to appreciate where you are - to see and love on every detail of the present moment without being consumed by it. - Dominik Salcedo (yeah, I'm absolutely quoting myself)
If you’d like a better understanding of how healthy detachment serves your sensitivity, I did a quick 13min episode breaking it down. Take a listen → What Is Healthy Detachment? And Other Q’s
Welcome in 2025 by committing to saying goodbye to stale, vampiric relationships and situations and saying yes to who and what honors your energy!
The Highly Sensitive Foundation To Success Bundle guides you step by step towards a lifestyle you get to cultivate that honors your sensitivity in the day-to-day – complete with workbooks, perspective-shifting prompts, and lessons by yours truly to break down the importance of every change you decide to make.
TL;DR Summary
Remember this the next time you start to feel overstimulated by a situation/the pace of your day, the loudness of that fire truck alarm/etc. Yes, fear can be overstimulating. But you’re probably not afraid of the fireworks or bass in the speakers. This can help you slow down the momentum of your emotions as you identify your needs as an HSP. Healthy detachment in the micro is important🤍
Episodes to dive deeper: What Is Healthy Detachment? And Other Q’s + Failing And Trusting Yourself Anyway ( A Practical Guide For HSPs)
You got this🌷
