How To Practice Emotional Detachment For Your Mental Health

Emotional detachment doesn’t have the best connotation, and for good reason.

 

To put it simply, it’s a common trauma response for many people. Separately, it’s a symptom of many kinds of mental and personality disorders as well, so it can be concerning when a loved one shows signs of it.

 

After all, we want to emotionally connect with the people we love. As I mentioned in my last post on emotional intimacy, having strong bonds is so important for our mental health.

 

So, what if I told you mastering healthy emotional detachment can provide you with said emotional intimacy? That it could improve your mental health overall?

 

That’s what this post is all about!

 

Let’s get into how to practice emotional detachment for our mental health.

What Does Healthy Emotional Detachment Look Like?

 

In psychology, emotional detachment is known as psychological detachment, and studies show it has a positive impact on people’s lives.

 

One study found that psychological detachment improves life satisfaction in relation to work-life balance. Without it, people experience emotional exhaustion.

 

Our mental illnesses already do so much of that on their own! We want to avoid our work being another source of emotional drainage, and that’s where this detachment comes into play.

 

This study explores this idea in athletes and found that daily emotional detachment improved their cognitive and physical recovery. The evidence is clear; creating emotional distance from stress helps us preserve our health!

 

Here’s what this can look like:

 

How To Implement A Healthy Dose Of Emotional Detachment

 

If you’re struggling with any of the unhealthy detachment signs listed above, I’ve come up with a couple of ways you can practice healthier emotional detachment methods. These tips are meant to improve your quality of life and eliminate stress.

Practice Gratitude Without Ownership

 

Sometimes, we let our feelings of love for someone consume us to where it only hurts. We can get so twisted up about the behaviors of others that we give it complete power over how our days go or how we end up feeling long-term. What sometimes comes of this is us getting too comfortable; we can easily hurt the ones we love by being taking advantage of them.

 

This is avoidable! By simply changing your mindset, you can allow your relationships to breathe by prioritizing gratitude within them. Detach from the entitlement to your loved one’s time and attention (which isn’t guaranteed because life happens), and approach them with gratitude for their love.

 

Show Sympathy And Support Without Overstepping

 

It’s understandable to want to do everything you can for your loved ones when they’re in need. However, there comes a time when you end up doing way too much and become either a) an enabler, or b) controlling someone else’s life. I don’t need to tell you how emotionally draining and unhealthy that is.

 

Instead of overstepping, the best way to show up for the people we love is by lending an ear, a shoulder to cry on, and words of encouragement. If they need small favors where they would simply appreciate your presence is also okay! 

 

Mostly because you can say no to these and they’ll still be okay! You want to take care that you’re not in the driver’s seat of someone else’s story. Unfortunately, that’ll only do more harm than good.

 

Practice Reflection Before Reaction

 

This has got to be one of the hardest tips to follow (I struggle with this so often) but it’s by far the most beneficial.

When we’re provoked, it’s hard to not immediately default to our trauma responses. It’s only natural; our minds and bodies will do everything they can to survive, to protect you.

 

Getting riled up, stressed, or emotional when someone triggers you is so normal. But honestly, it sucks to lose your cool. In those cases, reflection is going to be key. (If you have access to a therapist, I’d recommend you bring it up to them to uncover the reasons behind your responses and work to eventually improve them).

 

Practice deep breathing exercises next time you feel yourself getting agitated or upset in conversation. While you’re at it, focus on answering these questions:

 

• What’s being said/done that’s upsetting me?
• Do I want to have this interaction right now?
• What will calm me down in this moment?

 

In doing this, the goal is to detach and preserve yourself. So, what will calm you down? Decide if you need to walk away and revisit an interaction later, or take the time to gather your thoughts and emotions with deep breathing.

 

Healthy Boundaries = Healthy Relationships

 

As I’ve mentioned in How To Build Emotional Intimacy: Navigating Our Relationships, boundaries play a big part in the health of your relationships. For everyone, but especially if you’re also struggling with depression and anxiety.

 

Setting and honoring your boundaries and the boundaries of others is crucial to practice emotional detachment. You’ve got to be able to put your feelings aside when others establish boundaries.

 

When we take things personally, it clouds our perception of what others are asking of us – respect for their energy. To understand it as a personal attack instead is to miss the opportunity to develop a connection with them. This is how we unintentionally become energy vampires! (Definitely read my post on protecting your energy to understand what energy vampires are and how to avoid this!)

 

Recap

 

This was how to practice emotional detachment for your mental health! This is an empowering way to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, so to say, so you can observe and interact with your world objectively.

It takes a lot of practice and willpower to approach your mental health and personal life this way, but it’s life-changing once you can master being in control of your life.

 

Until next time.

I do know that detachment is important. A surgeon can’t be weeping into the open wound.

randa haines