Growing up with depression is not for the faint of heart, especially when it suddenly disrupts your life at the beginning of your first year of high school (ahem, me). If mental illness isn’t openly talked about at home and is simultaneously glorified online, trying to find useful coping mechanisms can be challenging.
I’m here to tell you 5 ways to cope with depression as a teenager and what I wish I knew about growing up with depression.
What I Wish I Knew About Growing Up With Depression
Most adults won’t believe you, but the ones that do are the ones that matter
Adults often ridicule teens with depression, oftentimes without realizing it.
I’ve personally had a doctor say “yes, teenagers can be very dramatic,” while explaining away my symptoms. And too many of the tired “You’re [insert age], what are you depressed about?” comments. It’s hard to get taken seriously, especially when you’re response to that question is “I don’t know, please help me.” The adults that did take me seriously, however, changed my life for the better.
TL;DR: I wish I hadn’t wasted so much energy trying to explain myself to people who didn’t understand and spent more time with those who needed no explanation.
Depression warps your reality
When your depression is coupled with anxiety, the narratives in your mind are often far from reality. I didn’t even know this was a thing until I started therapy, but I wish I had when I was younger.
When you’re struggling with mental illness, your mind can build narratives that aren’t real. For example, if someone doesn’t acknowledge you when they enter the room, your mind might go, “Hey, that person is so sick of you at this point, they probably wish you weren’t here.”
That’s a big jump. But that’s how our minds can play tricks with us when we’re already mentally fragile.
TL;DR: What I wish I knew? That my depressed thoughts aren’t always real, so I should analyze them objectively before coming to conclusions.
Practicing gratitude helps
The feeling of gratitude can shift your mind away from what you don’t have, which is what depression latches onto intensely, especially if you suffer from anxiety as well (or, your depression shows up as anxiety – another new thing I learned about myself). Take this with a grain of salt. I didn’t add this to the list of ways to cope with depression down below because this only works sometimes for myself personally, and studies show that practicing gratitude can significantly worsen depression. If you decide to practice gratitude, write out 2 to 3 things you’re grateful for and review them when you need to. Add one more to it if you’d like.
TL;DR: Focusing on gratitude doesn’t get rid of depression, but it can make the depression beast smaller.
Self isolation hurts more than it helps
I know, I know – you want to self isolate. It’s the only thing that feels safe. I know all you want to do is sleep, and let me tell you – depression eats away at your energy real good.
But you only sink deeper when the people who care about you can’t reach you. So, instead of self-isolation, talk to someone you trust. Like I said earlier, it has to be someone who understands what you’re going through, or is willing to listen. It’s worth it to not sink back into a dark place.
TL;DR: Read the heading again, that’s all there is to it.
If you don’t suffer from depression but are in close proximity to it, you might find this post on How To Help A Depressed Friend + Advice From A Depressed Person helpful as well, as it’s all about how you can take care of them and yourself.
5 Ways To Cope As A Depressed Teenager
Whether you’re caught up in schoolwork, extracurriculars, or working your first job, depression can severely put a damper on your attendance and performance. Here are some ways to combat those dark clouds while managing your responsibilities as a teen.
1. Confide In People Who Understand
Instead of dealing with painful responses from people who don’t understand, invest time in finding people who do. It’s going to save you a lot of heartache and mental spirals. Whether it’s one person or a group, online or in the classroom, fellow peers or adults. Confide in someone who is growing up with depression or has grown up with it too, because it’s important to be able to talk about it safely.
2. Figure Out Your Options And Try Them
When I was in high school, the thought of speaking to someone who’s getting paid to listen to me made me uncomfortable. Also, my family didn’t believe in medication, so I was afraid of that option too (though I wish I had considered it more, looking back now).
If that’s similar to your feelings, think of things you desperately want right now. Is it community? One sole person you can talk to? Education from home? An online resource, where you don’t have to make appointments in person? Figure out what you’d like by doing some research on what’s available for you. And please, try each option at least once. You could discover a method that helps you for many years to come, so you can’t skip out on the opportunity.
Do you need guidance in taking action to protect yourself from energy vampires and overwhelm?
Are you looking to reclaim your energy by developing a deep understanding of Self?
I help highly sensitive women protect their energy through emotional intelligence building, and now you can work with me too! I’m happy to announce my Highly Sensitive Foundation To Success Bundle is now available for only $17.
This is your chance to discover a deep love of self like no other and stand in your power as a Highly Sensitive Person!
3. Read More Books
Reading gets you out of your head! All those crippling thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing become background noise when you’re immersed in a great story. Finding yourself enjoying a story will give your heart and mind a breather from your depression. It truly clears the fog for a bit, which will help you take care of yourself and your responsibilities. Considering the fact that I’ve been an avid reader all my life, I mentally kicked myself for not doing this enough as a teenager, so please don’t make the same mistake. Today, I regularly use this method to cope with my depression.
4. Eat and Sleep
You cannot feel better if you are not eating and sleeping enough. Period.
That goes for anybody, not just people who struggle with their mental health. If you’re struggling with insomnia, you can invest in melatonin gummies or listen to meditative songs for sleep on YouTube. Guided meditation for sleep and peaceful songs helped my insomnia a lot and still does.
If food is scarce at home, see if there’s a school nearby that provides free breakfast and/or lunch. If it’s difficult for you to make meals, simply talk to your guardian at home about what you can prep for the week and see if they can help. Make it a priority and it can be done.
5. Spend Time Outside
I know some days this can be hard, especially if you live in a bustling city and you have a free day to rest at home. But if you’re utilizing any of the other tips in the post, try to do some of them outside in the sun. (Except sleep, please do not sleep outside). Even spending 20 minutes reading in the park can do wonders for your mental health. You know yourself better than anyone, so if you recognize that you’re isolated in your room for too long, take some time and step outside. The relief and dopamine hit you get from the sun and fresh air is unlike anything else when you feel like you’re drowning in your symptoms.
This was what I wish I knew about growing up with depression and 5 ways to cope as a teenager. If you found this article helpful, like this post and share it so others who may need it can give it a read.
Until next time.
Having a mental illness does not mean you’re weak or can’t handle life. You can have a mental illness and deal with it and still be a powerful, confident woman.
Torrey DeVitto
